Entering The Shiva House. It is appropriate to bring/send food to a shiva house or make a memorial donation. What do I say when going to a shiva-house to console a mourner? If you are a couple, it is important that you both make a shiva call. Do not send flowers. Say goodbye. Food or drinks are not laid out for the visitors, because the mourners are not hosts. Condolence Calls. Try to avoid making group shiva calls out of respect for the family and the deceased. Mourners uniformly report how exhausted they are by the shiva experience; do not overstay your welcome. Do not ask about the details of the death. Here is part of my response: It is not customary to send flowers to a shiva house. If a service is held, come a few minutes before and stay a few after. A shiva visit should be no more than an hour. In general, she was wondering what to bring to a shiva house. They do not greet the visitors, rise for them, or see them out. Mourning in the Jewish faith is a very personal process, as each individual mourns and reflects differently. What to bring or send. Since all are invited to comfort mourners, the front door of most shiva homes will be left unlocked. Stay away from conversation of how the person died, especially if you were there when he or she died. If the mourner is not engaging with you, express your condolences and leave after ten minutes. No one needs to greet visitors; they simply enter on their own. Actress Lisa Robins of Jewish Women's Theatre's Blessings of a Broken Heart Silence makes people uncomfortable, but it’s normal at a shiva house. Even if you don’t know what to say, just sitting with the mourner for a half hour or an hour is worth a lot. Do not stay too long. The front door will usually be left unlocked so that guests may enter and exit quietly on their own. HaMakom is said when you leave. Short visits are meaningful too. Though this may seem strange, the idea is that there really isn’t much that one can say to someone experiencing profound loss. When you arrive at the shiva house, you should enter on your own. When consoling a mourner, we say: "Hamakom yenachem eschem b'soch sha'ar availay Tzion Veerushalayim (The Omniscient One should comfort you amongst the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem). There is a tradition not to greet people at a shiva house, and in fact not to speak at all until one of the mourners has first spoken to you. Jewish tradition holds that visiting the house of mourning is a mitzvah during the shiva period. The best thing to bring, in my opinion, is yourself. And they may not want to talk at all. Each shiva call is intended to be a one-on-one call between a mourner and a family member or friend. "1) Didn't answer the question. A list of some local and national charities can be found is provided at ShivaConnect. 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